Category Archives: rants

Officiousness, and how I can’t stand it


Can I just say that the one thing that irritates me no end is officiousness?

Erm, of course, the above comment does not mean that this is the only thing that irritates me no end. There are many others, I assure you.

So, I live in a lovely society in the suburbs around Delhi. There’s lots of greenery, place for children to play and cycle, a grocery store, some nice neighbours, and very pretty airy flats with lots of windows and balconies.

So, where’s the problem, you might say. There isn’t one, I say in return. Because it isn’t a problem really, it’s just a bleddy-irritatingly-officious RWA!

They make rules that say children can’t play in the park, and should go to a park outside the society, and across the road. They also make rules that pets can’t be walked (on a leash even) inside the society. The second of which I choose to ignore, and the first of which I would choose to ignore if I had kids, and will when I do.

Now, they do do some nice stuff. Like, get the swimming pool opened and cleaned regularly, make sure there’s no gandagi around, that there are guards at the gate, and a maali who maintains pretty gardens, and enough street lights downstairs, power-backup that comes on really quickly, etc.

But, it’s the officiousness while doing so that really gets my goat. (On an aside, what a strange phrase that is – “gets my goat”. And, here is how it started. You know you really want to look too. I did. 🙂 )

This is the latest thing that’s currently getting my goat, if you know what I mean.

Now, there’s a divider on the road just outside the main gate. This road is a slip road with very little traffic, and considering that this society is at almost one end of the city, and one that is still developing, there are not that many other houses or shops around the place. Now, either you can take the main highway next this slip road, for which you will need to drive about two kilometres further down on the highway, and then take a U-turn, and drive two kilometres back, before turning in to the street that the society is on; or, you can take the back-way, which is through another colony, and is always empty, and which makes you reach the street that the society is on – only, you’re on the wrong side of the road. So, again, you can either drive about a 100-150 metres down that street and take a U-turn to reach the main gate, or you can drive the 100-150 metres on the wrong side of the road, and enter the main gate straight away.

Now, of course, the best thing to do would be to take the U-Turn and come back, but then, it’s just a hundred-and-fifty metres, at the most, on the wrong side of an empty street – and lots of people do just that. Which is wrong, but a personal choice – right?

Wrong. And not just wrong, a grave, grave offence suitable for punishment, according to some.

There have been tonnes of very serious sounding emails on the society’s online group mailing list, where the idea that most seem to love is to instruct the guards at the main gate to disallow entry to residents that want to enter without taking the U-turn. So, if you choose to break (not very serious) traffic rules on the main road, you don’t get to enter your own house!!

After surviving many, many officious-sounding emails that reach my mailbox everyday, and which I am forced to read since I seem to have an almost obsessive compulsive disorder of not being able to see the Bold black unread emails count in my Gmail inbox, I had to reply. And, since I am currently very kicked with my reply, you all get to read it too. What luck, no?

Before you proceed to read, may I mention that I have already received two fan mails from other residents at the time of going to press on this post. Even though, some others might really not get the sarcasm.

* ABC = the real name of the place I live in, to keep stalkers away.

Dear All,

Here’s what I think about the whole taking-U-turn/not-taking-U-turn controversy, and I’m not sure how many people would agree or disagree, but then, they’re my views. 🙂

  1. Nobody, with the exception on traffic cops, has the right to enforce any traffic rules on me.
  2. Everyone who will be, at present or in the future, driving a car into ABC, will have a valid driving licence, and hence, will be an adult.
  3. Being an adult, I don’t think I would take kindly to something that isn’t hurting anyone else, except myself. Like, smoking for instance – doesn’t hurt others, except in a passive way, and they’re welcome to not be around me, and thus, live longer. Being in a no-smoking zone, of course, would be a different thing. Similarly, what I do on the road, or which driving rules I choose to break or follow, are between me and the traffic cops.
  4. Having said the above, this does not, of course, mean that I (or any other reasonably intelligent person) will break every traffic rule in the book. For instance, I wouldn’t take the wrong side of the U-turn on the main XYZ Highway because of the heavy and fast traffic there. I am also aware (as is every other reasonably intelligent person, I’m sure) that taking the U-turn outside ABC is the correct thing to do. However, not doing so does not mean that I would like being told that I cannot enter the place I live in, by the guards at the gate. The reason for not liking this, before anyone jumps to conclusions, is not because it’s a guard telling me, but because I wouldn’t appreciate someone who does not have the right to enforce or allow/disallow my entry into ABC, to take the liberty to be doing so.
  5. And, lastly, although it is an extremely creditable thing to be aware and responsible citizens, and have the civic sense to follow traffic rules, I still think all of us need to get down our high horses a wee bit, and think of ABC less as a mini-country, and more as what it really is – just a place that people live in.

Of course, all of the above are just my views, which may or may not find any followers, and aren’t meant to hurt or antagonise anyone. 🙂

Cheers!
– Aanchal Tyagi

 

So, anyone else? Anything that irritates you? 🙂

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Unbelievable stupidity!


You have to read this.

I really, really have no words left. Really.

I’d really like to know what this guy has been smoking. Whatever it is, pliss to stay away from it, y’all.

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The Varicella virus


…causes Chickenpox.

And, that’s exactly what it has caused, in me.

Yes, so after that whole spate of illnesses and hospital visits, I’m now down with Chickenpox.

About a couple of weeks back, when G had the pox-of-the-poultry-family, I got a very (very, very!) mild, atypical form of this, and now it seems to have caught up with me, and has (literally!) bitten me in the butt. Literally, ‘cos yes – I have red spots on my butt, as I do on every frikkin’ sq.inch of my body.

Red spots. Red, itchy spots. Red, itchy, fluid-filled spots!

UGHHH!!!

Yes, I know you’re all grossed out now. So am I!

I’m stuck at home. I’ve to take yet more leave from work. I’m all itchy! I do NOT want scars! I’m bored. And irritable!

X-(

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The Art of being Sickly


1. G’s dad had a complicated second bypass surgery.
2. G has a bad asthma attack, combined with a pneumonic patch on the lung – which puts him in the ICU.
3. G gets chickenpox. So does our live-in maid. Both are shipped off to Meerut to recover, while I run between office and home, while cooking and cleaning and looking for a part-timer to look after some of the work at home till our maid recovers.
4. I leave early from office today, feeling slightly feverish, with a sore throat and a few red spots. Have spent the rest of the day in bed. The spots don’t seem to be growing, and I’m hoping it isn’t chickenpox.
😦

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WHAT is wrong with people???


See this, this and this.

WTF???!!!!

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TOI does it again!


People may remember my earlier rant against TOI and sensational journalism…

Yesterday’s Times of India had the following picture on the front page:

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The caption read: Next Stop, Lhasa?

Just wondering…

Isn’t the picture and the caption completely against what the Dalai Lama stands for? Isn’t this completely against what he’s been working so hard for? Isn’t it also maybe a little insulting? Doesn’t it go against the peaceful struggle of the Tibetan people?

Jug Suraiya though had this to tell:

Don’t speak to anyone, warned Tenzin, our English-speaking guide. Four years ago a friend of his who had been spotted talking to some foreign tourists had ‘disappeared’ and never been seen again. But it was hard to heed the warning. Inside the monastery, the monks swarmed around us. They want to know if you have ever seen His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, Tenzin explained. We shook our heads regretfully. They’re asking if you have any pictures of His Holiness, said Tenzin. Again we had to indicate we hadn’t. They’re asking if you can give them some Indian money, some notes, said Tenzin. It seemed a curious request, as Indian currency could hardly be legal tender in Chinese Tibet. But i took out my wallet and proffered a 100-rupee note. The monks shook their heads vigorously. No, no, said Tenzin. That’s too big; they want small notes, one rupee, two rupees. I found one- and two-rupee notes in my wallet. The monks passed them around with murmurs of awe and reverence. They’ll worship the notes, pray to them, said Tenzin. Because it’s possible that, maybe, sometime, His Holiness has touched one of the notes. That’s why they wanted small notes, which circulate more, so the chances of their having been touched by His Holiness are greater, he added. I looked at the remaining notes in my wallet, thumbed through them thoughtfully. Who knew? He just might have touched one of them. I was discovering what the Chinese have found out. That faith is an infection easy to catch, impossible to stamp out. Even in non-believers like me.

Faith really is easy to catch. No?

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You Woman = Will Cook


Saw the link on DesiPundit, and have been trying not to react since I read this idiotic piece of nonsense this morning – eventually, just had to.

The man has made a list that others of his gender must make note of, and stick on their bathroom or bedroom walls, to have a “balle balle life”, he says.

Yes, he does give a disclaimer though:

Understand these are based on my personal experiences, from those whom I’ve observed and those real stories that I’ve heard. These a generic rules. There may be more. But these you need to see, check, self reflect and keep your feet grounded in practicalities of life.

So, in his list, he shortlists the nine kinds of women that men must “walk away” from. Among these are the following:

  • The Can’t Cook Woman
  • The In-Debt Woman
  • The Abusive Woman
  • The Pressure Woman
  • The My-Way-Or-The-Highway Woman
  • The My-Family-Moves-With-Me Woman
  • The Health Un-Conscious Woman
  • The Money-is-Paper Woman
  • The No-Sex-Please Woman

Now you have to read the post, of course, to appreciate the complete inanity of it – but, let me show you what I mean…

In his point about ‘The Can’t Cook Woman‘, he says:

If she can’t cook, walk away. Right now. Walk away. A woman who can’t feed her man, is outright selfish, uncaring and too inwardly focussed on herself than her partner. Walk away. Don’t even question this. Cause I could as many others will, write volumes on this.

If you return home after a hard day’s work and your woman can’t feed you (whether or not she works), she can’t be the woman of the house. If she wants you to cook (and I’ve been asked in the past by women, during my desi online matrimony days) then tell her you will if she can wear the pants in the house, make money as much as you do and you can sit at home or do a part time job and work the kitchen. If not, forget it. Walk away. Right now.

If a woman in all seriousness questions you “But why do you want a woman to cook?”… you can bet your sorry ass that she in all probability can also ask you someday “But why do you want a woman with a vagina?”

Get out, before it’s too late.

You get what I mean?

Dear Mr. oz, do allow me to tell you why I have a problem with what you say. I agree that you have as much of a right to write you want to, as I do. But, the thing is, that I think this is one of the biggest pieces of self-righteous crap I have ever read.

When you say: “If she wants you to cook then tell her you will if she can wear the pants in the house, make money as much as you do and you can sit at home or do a part time job and work the kitchen. If not, forget it.all I can think is that in my family, I make more money than my husband does, my mother makes more money every month (mostly) than my father does, my husband and I both wear pants in the house, and we both wish we could do with part-time jobs where we could make as much money and have more time to spend at home.

When you say: “If a woman in all seriousness questions you “But why do you want a woman to cook?”… you can bet your sorry ass that she in all probability can also ask you someday “But why do you want a woman with a vagina?” ” …all I can wonder is whether that is the same as equating a man walking around killing animals for food with a man without a penis.

If you return home after a hard day’s work and your woman can’t feed you (whether or not she works), she can’t be the woman of the house.” All I can say, Mr. oz – is that I feel sorry for whoever ends up as the woman of your house.

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