Category Archives: marriage

Hum dono… :)

kabhi kabhi shaam dhale,
jab baithey ho’n hum dono –
kabhi apne din ki baatein doosre ko bataatey hue,
aur kabhi bas aise hi, chup chaap ek doosre ko mehsoos karte –
dono ke haath mein ek beer ka glass,
tumhaare haath mein ek ke baad ek cigarette jalti hui –
tab lagta hai bilkul waisa hi,
jaisa lagta tha tab jab hum miley thay,
aur jaan rahey thay ek doosre ko, dheere dheere.

Yaad hai tumhein woh waqt?
art galleriyaan, starbeans ki coffee,
aur woh cocktail regent blues mein –
woh lambe din aur usse bhi lambi raatein jab sirf phone pe kartey thay baat,
aur shuru mein toh receiving mein bhi hota tha charge.
aur unn lambe din aur lambi raat’on ke beech,
woh lamhe bhar ki shaam
jab hote thay ek saath
hum dono.

kitney saal lage, kitne ghante,
kitne phone call, aur kitni baar hum miley,
aur dheere dheere jaan’ne lagey ek doosre ko itna,
ke vishwaas ho gaya ki yehi toh chahiye tha
zindagi ka jigsaw poora hone ke liye,
aur bas, kar liya tay ke tumse kabhi nahin bhi miley hotey,
phir bhi tumse na milney ka hota pachhtaava –
maaloom hota meri zindagi ko, ke ismein jis zindagi ko milna tha,
woh abhi tak mili nahin.

Tab se abb tak,
kaise aa gaye hum?
Humaare kal ne pauhunchaaya humein
humaare aaj tak.
aur ye aaj raasta bana raha hai
humaare aane waale kal ke liye.
Ye padh kar soch rahe hoge tum – ke kal hoga toh kaisa hoga?
Bas, aisa hi hoga, meri jaan – tum aur main, hum dono, ek saath,
aur humaari banaayi hui ye zindagi.



Filed under happiness, love, marriage, poetry


Is it true, what they say?! That a couple starts thinking and looking alike after being together for some time?

We have two bathrooms at home – one attached to our bedroom, and the second attached to G’s dad’s room. Now, we both leave for office together every morning, so there’s always a rush to get ready, and bathrooms, thus, are a precious commodity. And so, I use the one next to our room, and G uses the other one.

This morning, I debated between wearing either a black dress or a sari to office. But not being able to decide on the shoes to wear with the dress, and not having the time for a sari after spending (a lot of) time on the ‘shoe problem’ – I eventually ended up putting on a black cotton button-down shirt and blue jeans.

And as I stand in front of the mirror, putting on eye-liner, my pest of a husband walks in to the room. I see him from the corner of my eye and turn around in shock.

He’s wearing a black cotton button-down shirt and blue jeans!!


Filed under love, marriage

Cricket Conversations

She’s sitting in bed, watching the nth rerun of Friends, as he walks in, saying: “Match laga do, please.”

She asks – “What channel does it come on?”

He answers – “Set Max.”

She switches to the channel with the cricket match. There are some Red and Blue uniformed people she sees.

“Who’s playing?”, she asks him.

He gives her a very amused look, almost laughs, and then nods a nod of understanding, ‘cos he knows her so well.

“Royal Challengers Bangalore and Deccan Chargers”, he says, turning back to the TV.

“Deccan Char…?”

“Hyderabad”, he says, before she finishes her question, knowing what she’d be asking.

They watch in silence. For 30 seconds.

“Why were you going to laugh?”, she asks.

“‘Cos, babe, it’s the finals!!”

What was funny, I ask?!

And, yes – that’s how much I don’t like, and don’t follow, cricket.


Filed under just like that, marriage, random

Sunday Mornings

You sleep till late,
while I wake early
and wait
for the slumber leading from
the excesses of
Saturday night
to end.

Or sometimes keep
peeping into our bedroom, while
getting ready, watering the plants,
feeding the cats.

Looking in, at you sleeping,
like you do,
your nose buried in your pillow.

Smelling like you do,
(as I keep telling you)
like a rubber balloon.

Waiting for you to wake
up. So I can see your searching
eyes, looking for me
to kiss your sleep away.

And then you sit
up in bed, wanting
your hot cup of strong
sweet tea, and the news
of the day.

And after that first
kiss of the day,
I go back to getting ready,
watering the plants, feeding
the cats, and waiting
for the next one that comes
when you’re getting out
of our bed, and starting our one day

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Filed under happiness, love, marriage, poetry, Things that make me happy

From Couplehood

Remember this show – Mad About You, with Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser?

I used to love it! Am currently downloading the 3rd and 4th seasons of the show.

So, I found this book written by Paul Reiser. It’s called Couplehood. And, it’s typical Paul Reiser! And, I love it!

Here’s an excerpt:

“…the way I figure, there are two types of people: those who get it and those who don’t. If they get it, there’s nothing to explain, and if they don’t, there’s no point in trying to explain. They don’t get it. Move on.

But I remember thinking that if you’re going to be with someone, you should find someone who gets it. And someone who fits.”

Interesting thing: Ask most guys why they marry the woman they do, and they’ll tell you, “She’s the first one who called me on everything.”

All the things you tried to get away with in the past, all the games you designed and mastered for the express purpose of keeping people at arm’s length were, it turns out, all just a weeding-out process, a search for the one person who doesn’t fall for it – the one who can sidestep your tricks and see right through you. And, ironically, you’re not upset. In fact, you’re impressed. You think, “Wow, good for you.” And the message goes forth: “Okay, no more calls, we have a winner.”

See, a lot of times we’re just clueless. We walk around, scarred from previous relationships, thinking we’ve learned something, when in fact, things that may have been deal breakers in the past may not even bother the person you’re with now. (Learning what actually bothers the new person is how you spend the rest of your life.) But there is this need to disclose potential problem areas.

“I snore.”

“That’s okay.”

“No, but I snore in odd, little rhythms.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

“I once snored a medley from The King and I.”

“My favourite musical.”

“Alright…I just thought you should know.”

And you keep raising the ante. Not that you want to scare them off; it’s just that if they’re ever going to leave you, let’s get it out of the way now.

“You may notice that in the bathroom, I tend to flush a few seconds before I’m actually done. I don’t know why, I just do. And there’s no way I can change. Do you understand this? Can you accept this? Because it has cost me dearly in the past.”

And she still hasn’t changed her mind.

So, you think, “Maybe this’ll work.” And ultimately, they find out everything:

How you chew, how you sip, how you hum, how you dance. How you smell at every point in the day, how you are on the phone with your mother, the fact that many of your friends are shallow, that you always have to sit on the aisle, how you never really listen, how whiny you get when you travel, how you’r enot gracious to her friends when they call, how certain game shows make you really really happy, how cranky you get because you’re too stupid to remember to eat, how you manage to get confrontational only when it’s with the absolute wrong person to be yelling at, how you don’t like the way you look in any picture you’ve taken since 1974, how you’re unable to get off the phone when you’re running late because you don’t have the ability to say, “This isn’t a good time; can I call you back?” How you have to lick certain fruits before actually eating them, how you have no ability to save receipts – all these things, and they still want to sign on. They still like you.

This feels good. For about a minute.

But the next thought is, “Wait a second, why is she being so understanding? If this stuff doesn’t faze her, her stuff must be even worse … Oh God – what don’t I know?”

And every day, bit by bit, you find out.

True, no? 🙂


Filed under literature, love, marriage, prose, quotes

Living alone again

It’s been almost a year and a half since I lived alone last. I did that for about six years, and used to quite enjoy it actually. And then G and I got married, and I got used to living with him. So used to living with him that I don’t know what to do with myself when he’s not here.

He left for London today. Will be back in ten days.

I’m already bored.

Especially because I couldn’t get to office today. Because of the Gujjar agitation and the NCR bandh.
So I stayed home but did office work mostly, watched the news like an insane person to see if roads were still blocked, did some more office work, took a nap, more work, watched TV, dinner, still more TV, and now back to work again. And I haven’t watched THIS MUCH television in the last two years!

Now I’m thinking, is it a good thing that I’m so used to G that I’m this bored without him, or is it really bad to be at such a loss for what to do when he’s not here, and it’s just only been a day since he left?

Tomorrow should hopefully be better because I’ll be in office mostly. But then again, who will I call everytime I want to tell a funny story, or talk about something that just happened, or something someone just said, or everytime I want to bitch about someone, or everytime I’m trying to think of a song I like but can’t remember the words to? So, yeah – I shall be missing him. That’s what I’m gonna be doing for the next ten days.

And. I REALLY need to start liking living alone again. Especially since this time it isn’t in a one room barsaati, instead it’s a nice pretty house. And this time there is our maid, who cooks really well and makes sure the house is nice and pretty.

I think I’m missing G so much because I know there are another 10 days to go. *Sigh*


Filed under love, marriage

The more-special-Anniversary!

Is today. The 28th of March. 🙂

Today’s six years(!!) from the day G and I first met – in person.

(Yes, sweetie – I am letting the cat out of the bag…!)

This is the story that I do not like too many people to know in normal circumstances – why? – ‘coz it is – well – embarrassing (don’t ask me why!) … !

So, this is 2001, and this friend of mine who’s from Bokaro originally is extremely homesick and I’m off to Meerut for the weekend – and ask her to come along, and she does. Now she’s never chatted – as in, online, y’know – and these are the days when ICQ was the hottest thing around – this was before Yahoo or MSN even got popular, and much before the days of Google Talk.

So, well – I log her into my ICQ account, and do search on users based in Delhi, and up pops a very interesting username – hawkeye. Why it’s interesting to me is because Alan Alda was called Hawkeye Pierce in M*A*S*H – and I was quite in love with him!

So then, I obviously had to talk to this person. Except that it wasn’t me talking, but my friend – let’s call her R.

So, R and hawkeye have a long conversation (apparently!) that weekend. R and I go back to Delhi. When I come back home a few weekends later though, and log in to my ICQ account, up pops this interesting username again. This time he’s on my friends list, and is online.

By this time I’ve sort of forgotten that whole episode – and am wondering who this person is.

We start talking. That night. The night after that. For weeks after that. But only online. And once in a while he would call on the hostel phone, or the phone at home when I was in Meerut.

I found him interesting, funny – and found that we have so much in common! We grew up reading the same books, and loved the same characters in them.

Once while chatting, he said “spitty” – and I was beyond shocked! Ern Goon was my favourite character from The Five Find-outers and Dog . 🙂

These and many other such things made us both slowly start becoming that one phone call in the day that made us stay all-smiley for the rest of the day – and night.

We first met in person almost six months later though – on the 28th of March 2002. At the Mac Donald’s in Kamla Nagar – not the one there is now. It used to be in another place earlier.

And then, we kept meeting – more and more often.

We’d go to an art gallery (Art Today – when it was still around) one day, to a book shop another time, browse through carpet shops, the Tanishq showroom in Connaught Place, Palika Bazaar, coffee shops (Star Beans in CP – it’s been closed for renovation for the last 4 years!), Janpath – and every time, in every place – we’d like the exact same things! I’m not kidding – from carpets to watches, from books to films, from clothes to paintings, from food to jewellery. You have no idea how unnerving this was…!!

The only thing that our tastes differed in – and still do – was music. He likes Rock. I like Oldies (Hindi and English), Classical, Jazz, and Blues.

Other things we differ in: I read more. And I read faster. I’m more liberal. He’s just a little bit conservative. He loves sports. I detest them. I love spicy food. He can’t eat too much spice.

So, anyway…

Today’s six years from then…

And today’s more special than our wedding anniversary…

And, I’m just about to leave office to meet him – and spend the evening together.

Oh, and our lives too.



Filed under happiness, love, marriage