You have to read this.

I really, really have no words left. Really.

I’d really like to know what this guy has been smoking. Whatever it is, pliss to stay away from it, y’all.

…causes Chickenpox.

And, that’s exactly what it has caused, in me.

Yes, so after that whole spate of illnesses and hospital visits, I’m now down with Chickenpox.

About a couple of weeks back, when G had the pox-of-the-poultry-family, I got a very (very, very!) mild, atypical form of this, and now it seems to have caught up with me, and has (literally!) bitten me in the butt. Literally, ‘cos yes – I have red spots on my butt, as I do on every frikkin’ sq.inch of my body.

Red spots. Red, itchy spots. Red, itchy, fluid-filled spots!

UGHHH!!!

…

Yes, I know you’re all grossed out now. So am I!

I’m stuck at home. I’ve to take yet more leave from work. I’m all itchy! I do NOT want scars! I’m bored. And irritable!

X-(

1. G’s dad had a complicated second bypass surgery.
2. G has a bad asthma attack, combined with a pneumonic patch on the lung – which puts him in the ICU.
3. G gets chickenpox. So does our live-in maid. Both are shipped off to Meerut to recover, while I run between office and home, while cooking and cleaning and looking for a part-timer to look after some of the work at home till our maid recovers.
4. I leave early from office today, feeling slightly feverish, with a sore throat and a few red spots. Have spent the rest of the day in bed. The spots don’t seem to be growing, and I’m hoping it isn’t chickenpox.

See this, this and this.

WTF???!!!!

People may remember my earlier rant against TOI and sensational journalism…

Yesterday’s Times of India had the following picture on the front page:

The caption read: Next Stop, Lhasa?

Just wondering…

Isn’t the picture and the caption completely against what the Dalai Lama stands for? Isn’t this completely against what he’s been working so hard for? Isn’t it also maybe a little insulting? Doesn’t it go against the peaceful struggle of the Tibetan people?

…

Jug Suraiya though had this to tell:

Don’t speak to anyone, warned Tenzin, our English-speaking guide. Four years ago a friend of his who had been spotted talking to some foreign tourists had ‘disappeared’ and never been seen again. But it was hard to heed the warning. Inside the monastery, the monks swarmed around us. They want to know if you have ever seen His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, Tenzin explained. We shook our heads regretfully. They’re asking if you have any pictures of His Holiness, said Tenzin. Again we had to indicate we hadn’t. They’re asking if you can give them some Indian money, some notes, said Tenzin. It seemed a curious request, as Indian currency could hardly be legal tender in Chinese Tibet. But i took out my wallet and proffered a 100-rupee note. The monks shook their heads vigorously. No, no, said Tenzin. That’s too big; they want small notes, one rupee, two rupees. I found one- and two-rupee notes in my wallet. The monks passed them around with murmurs of awe and reverence. They’ll worship the notes, pray to them, said Tenzin. Because it’s possible that, maybe, sometime, His Holiness has touched one of the notes. That’s why they wanted small notes, which circulate more, so the chances of their having been touched by His Holiness are greater, he added. I looked at the remaining notes in my wallet, thumbed through them thoughtfully. Who knew? He just might have touched one of them. I was discovering what the Chinese have found out. That faith is an infection easy to catch, impossible to stamp out. Even in non-believers like me.

Faith really is easy to catch. No?

Saw the link on DesiPundit, and have been trying not to react since I read this idiotic piece of nonsense this morning – eventually, just had to.

The man has made a list that others of his gender must make note of, and stick on their bathroom or bedroom walls, to have a “balle balle life”, he says.

Yes, he does give a disclaimer though:

Understand these are based on my personal experiences, from those whom I’ve observed and those real stories that I’ve heard. These a generic rules. There may be more. But these you need to see, check, self reflect and keep your feet grounded in practicalities of life.

So, in his list, he shortlists the nine kinds of women that men must “walk away” from. Among these are the following:

• The Can’t Cook Woman
• The In-Debt Woman
• The Abusive Woman
• The Pressure Woman
• The My-Way-Or-The-Highway Woman
• The My-Family-Moves-With-Me Woman
• The Health Un-Conscious Woman
• The Money-is-Paper Woman
• The No-Sex-Please Woman

Now you have to read the post, of course, to appreciate the complete inanity of it – but, let me show you what I mean…

In his point about ‘The Can’t Cook Woman‘, he says:

If she can’t cook, walk away. Right now. Walk away. A woman who can’t feed her man, is outright selfish, uncaring and too inwardly focussed on herself than her partner. Walk away. Don’t even question this. Cause I could as many others will, write volumes on this.

If you return home after a hard day’s work and your woman can’t feed you (whether or not she works), she can’t be the woman of the house. If she wants you to cook (and I’ve been asked in the past by women, during my desi online matrimony days) then tell her you will if she can wear the pants in the house, make money as much as you do and you can sit at home or do a part time job and work the kitchen. If not, forget it. Walk away. Right now.

If a woman in all seriousness questions you “But why do you want a woman to cook?”… you can bet your sorry ass that she in all probability can also ask you someday “But why do you want a woman with a vagina?”

Get out, before it’s too late.

You get what I mean?

—

Dear Mr. oz, do allow me to tell you why I have a problem with what you say. I agree that you have as much of a right to write you want to, as I do. But, the thing is, that I think this is one of the biggest pieces of self-righteous crap I have ever read.

When you say: “If she wants you to cook then tell her you will if she can wear the pants in the house, make money as much as you do and you can sit at home or do a part time job and work the kitchen. If not, forget it.“ … all I can think is that in my family, I make more money than my husband does, my mother makes more money every month (mostly) than my father does, my husband and I both wear pants in the house, and we both wish we could do with part-time jobs where we could make as much money and have more time to spend at home.

When you say: “If a woman in all seriousness questions you “But why do you want a woman to cook?”… you can bet your sorry ass that she in all probability can also ask you someday “But why do you want a woman with a vagina?” ” …all I can wonder is whether that is the same as equating a man walking around killing animals for food with a man without a penis.

“If you return home after a hard day’s work and your woman can’t feed you (whether or not she works), she can’t be the woman of the house.” All I can say, Mr. oz – is that I feel sorry for whoever ends up as the woman of your house.

that I cannot stand people calling / mailing / scrapping / sms-ing me to ask – “How’s your married life going?”

People who read this blog: Please refrain from asking me the above question. Ever.

No, I do not mind you asking me – “How’s life?” I will answer that. I will say whether it is good, great, bad, too much work, too little work, etc. But, I will not reply when you ask how my married life is going!

I have a problem with that on many different levels. Want me to elaborate? Okay…here goes…

1. Does anyone ask my husband that? Is his life supposed to change too? I have never heard anyone ask him that? Why do you suppose that my life will change dramatically?
2. Why do you assume that I will happily be changing things around in my life, to make it different from my-life-when-it-was-my-life?
3. Yes, I’m married. Yes, things have changed. But, I’m first the person I always have been. Then, a daughter, grand-daughter and sister, a friend, a student, an employee, and a film maker. After all of that, did I become a wife. Now, when none of you people asked me about college life, work life, life as a daughter, life as a friend, or as a sister – why the sudden classification of my life now?

Okay, I’m done.

…is what I hate the most.

Most people think of the Cold as just a messy inconvenience. I think it’s a disease! And a horrid one at that.

Mahogany, the one who lives on a Jet Plane, thinks so too.  At least there’s someone who sympathizes and empathizes.

…but so what.

The Mad Momma had blogged about things that she’s judgemental about, and that made me think. I’ve often thought that I get extremely judgemental about certain stuff. Have been meaning to do this post for a very long time now – but with work and then having such little time at home with G, it just hasn’t happened.

So, all of the following are things that I judge people on, but none of these really matter in family and friends – they might strike me, but the thought’s gone in a second…

1. I judge people who can’t speak good English. I know that’s extremely superficial, but when people use bad grammar, wrong tenses, or pronounce words wrong – it just puts me off.
2. I judge people who write sms-es without vowels or punctuation. How much time or effort does it take to type “I’ll call you back”?! Why does it have to be “l cl u bk”??! I don’t get it! Even apart from sms, I don’t get why people have no idea how to use punctuation. Especially the apostrophe. It’s always “it’s” when it should be “its”, and vice versa.
3. I also judge people who don’t reply to sms-es, and are very proud of the fact that they “just don’t like text messages”. What’s there to like or not like about technology? It makes life easier, it’s an excellent way to communicate, and also – I’ve noticed that you can really know how a person’s mind actually works with the way they type sms-es. You can always tell if a person is witty or just plain boring.
4. I judge people who do not read. Especially, if you tell me that you’d rather sleep than read a book. What kind of a logic is that?!
5. I judge people who aren’t aware of popular culture – films, books, music, television. To not know who sang “With a little help from my friends“, or what Woodstock was, or what Kumar Gaurav’s first film was, or how Hum Aapke Hain Kaun changed the movie-watching experience, to who Salvador Dali was, to who Asterix is, or who Pran Kumar Sharma is, what Amar Chitra Katha is all about, or who Byomkesh Bakshi is, or turn your nose up at the thought of following the Harry Potter books – I just don’t get any of this. All this isn’t stuff that you have to try and find out about, or read about, or in any way, try and get to – it’s popular culture, people! It’s all around you.
6. I judge people who don’t love their work, and think that it’s alright to not be passionate about what you spend your life doing, just because at the end of the day you’re getting paid for it.
7. I judge people who change when they’re in a relationship. I’ve seen women and men becoming completely different people depending on who they’re with. Especially in a marriage. To my mind, marriage is supposed to be about coming together. Not changing each other. That is what the word compromise means to a lot of people, I’ve noticed.
8. I judge people who think it’s cool to not watch films. I have a relative who prides herself at the fact that she hasn’t watched a single film in the last 17 years. Really??! How’s that a cool thing?
9. I judge people – women actually – who change after having children. They stop being a woman, a wife, a daughter, a friend, an individual – just ‘coz having had a child, having achieved the ultimate aim of their being – that’s it for them. I completely understand, and respect, being there for your children, in every which way you can – that’s the least you owe them for having brought them into the world. But, not to the exclusion of everything else. Not to the exclusion of not having a marriage anymore – in every sense of the word. I judge women who make their children the sole ambition of their lives – to wake them up, to put them to sleep, to cook for them, to even talk about them endlessly even when they aren’t around, and to give up on themselves – on their personalities and on their bodies. To forget the people they were (and still are actually) just because society, in some way, tells them that they’ve finally done what they were around to do, and that’s that.
10. I judge people who don’t leave tips for waiters in restaurants, and/or think they have the right to speak badly with them. I also judge waiters who don’t serve with a pleasant expression, and/or are rude and condescending, and still expect tips.

I think this is it. For now. This, though, is a post in progress. And I am one judgemental b****!

Would just like to say again though. This does not apply to my family and friends. Some of my closest and best-est friends use wrong grammar lots of time. My brother detests reading – there was a time when I would actually read out a whole Biggles novel to him, in the hope of maybe making him start to like reading. And, my husband doesn’t believe in replying to my sms-es, and when he does, he writes full words thanks to predictive text, but does not use any punctuation ever. Sigh!

It’s been a week since I’ve been in bed – and have not ventured out; except for one night when I just HAD to get out for coffee late at night, and G drove me to the nearest Barista, but my back ache had started by the time we got there, so we came right back.

And, today – the first day that I’m feeling better, my husband is of no help at all – he’s out handling a pub event for one of his clients. Meanwhile, I’m at home – hoping a friend leaves office in time, so he can come over and take me out for coffee.

…what’s wrong with my back!

I have developed Occupational Spondilosis. It’s like, y’know how Tennis players get Tennis Elbow…kinda the same thing. Occupational Spondilosis happens with sitting at the computer for long hours – for many years. Can’t be avoided really. The only thing that I can do to avoid another attack is to exercise my back and not lift very heavy weights, so it doesn’t get affected this easily the next time.

Another cause for concern – I apparently have some deposits on the edges of my vertebra. It was thought to be Uric Acid deposits, but the blood test report shows that the level of Uric Acid in my blood is normal. So…well…!

Have spent the last week in bed. And since I’ve been lying in the weirdest of postures to keep my back from hurting, I now have a crick in my neck, which is not letting me turn my head to either side. Bugger!

So, basically – it’s been a restful, but depressingly boring week. Tomorrow and day after though are G’s days off.

The Orthopaedic says it’s something to do with decalcification of the back-bone. But, don’t see how that’s possible – considering Mom made Saahil and me have huge mugs of milk twice a day, every day. That was till I was living at home. It’s been six years since I moved to Delhi – and the childhood torture of drinking milk everyday left such an imprint on my mind, that I still regularly have a huge mug of milk every morning. (Yep, I’m sure my kids will go through the same torture as well.)

But, the point is, where is all that Calcium going?! How can my backbone, of all the bones in my body, be decalcifying all of a sudden?! What happened to the rest of the 200-something bones?

Today’s the second day I haven’t been to work. And, I really should – have loads of work to finish!

Today’s “Delhi Slimes” has an article about our Blogger Meet.

TTG also has a post about the article.

Now, the thing about the article is that, well, one, that Delhi Times (now Slimes) has sunk the lowest they could ever go; and two, that this article completely and totally misinterprets everything that was said that day.

I’m so fuckin’ furious!

The only lucky thing about it, as TTG says too, is that River’s name in the article isn’t her real name.

I so hope Vulturo posts this “James’ ” number on his blog!

Update: James’ number- 9818205432

I’m now convinced that there’s something wrong with my left leg! Have an almost constant horrible hollow ache. It pains when I walk. It pains when I sit. It pains when I lie down.

AAAARGHHHHH!!!

Got a b-a-a-a-a-d bodyache. Have had it for the last 2 days or so. Gonna have a Cetzine and s-l-e-e-e-e-e-p tonight. Write more tomorrow.

Hope Xena’s sleepy too. Otherwise, will have to lock her up somewhere if I want to sleep without having my toes chewed off by morning.